Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Worried that your kids are spoiled? By one estimate, 94% of parents are, but there's good news: “It is seldom too late to unspoil a child,” asserts Richard Bromfield, Harvard Medical School psychologist and author of How to Unspoil Your Child Fast. He offers these tips to take charge:
• Stand strong. Commit to making less indulgent parenting a priority. This means you must “be tough and unyielding” when it comes to saying no, Bromfield says. “Wishy-washy unspoiling” won't work.
• Avoid idle threats. “Yelling, counting to three and threatening consequences that you do not implement can weaken your authority,” Bromfield advises. “State your expectations clearly, and keep to them.”
• Be a parent, not a pal. “Parents want to be friends, not dictators,” Bromfield maintains. “But sometimes, children need to hear a simple ‘no' or, dare I say, old-fashioned ‘because I am the parent and I say so.' ”
• Don't bargain. “Parents train their children to be mini-lawyers,” Bromfield believes. “Don't barter for every bit of cooperation. We know who has the energy to win endless battles, and it is not the parents.”
• Buy, do less. Giving into fewer whims, Bromfield says, teaches “critical life skills” of appreciation and patience.borrowed from USA Today, by Alyssa Bailey